Ravi(Jitendra) and Maa (Nirupa Roy) Dialogues

Ravi : Jitendra
Maa : Nirupa Roy
Foto : Om prakash

Ravi: Maa, Tumhaare aasheervaad se main aaj B.A. FIRST class mein
pass ho gaya hoon.
[ Mom, your cool_dude son graduated today ]
[ Guess what ?! In first class ]
Maa : Bahuth khushee ki baath hai beta. Le, yeh parshaad kha le.
[ Son, that's really impressive. Thulp this parshaad ]
[Roy goes to the Foto of Om prakash, that is hanging on the wall]
Dekho ji. Aaj apke beta ne aap ki baath nibhaya hai.
[ Look hubby, your son the cool dude, what a shot !]
[ Roy to her son ]
Beta ... Ek achchi si naukari doond le Aur,
Jaldi se ek Bahuraani bhi le aaa
[ Son, how about cashing a job and closing on a female ? ]
Ravi: Maa ... uummnn ... Bahu rani tho my dhoond hee liya hai.
[ Geez, closed on a girl already ]
Maa : SSsaachchc?^#!@*&! Kaun hai beta vo khush kismat valee ?
[ Really !, who's that babe ? ]
Ravi: Seth Gangaram ki beti, Asha.
[ ddaannn ...dddaaann .... music in the background
and a face full of *%$*( of Nirupa Roy in the foreground ]
The rest of it is left to your imagination.
The saga continues...
Maa: BETAA!!! Yeh mujhse tu kis janam ka badla le raha hai!?
(Sonny, whatcha screwing up my happiness for?)
Ravi: MAA, tu kyaa keh rahee hai?
Maa: Beta, yeh wohi Seth Gangaram hai jisne tere pitaajee kaa
khoon karvayaa thaa! (BACKGROUND musicians go CRAZY!)
(You little twerp, this was the same jerk who knocked up
(errr...off) your daddy-jee)
Ravi: Kya!?
Member of Audience: Abbe saale, sunaaee nahi deta tereko!?
(Oh, brother-in-law, can't you hear?)
Ravi: Maa, yeh tu kyaa keh rahi hai?
(Writer's Interjection: Our Hero is not exactly PhD material.)
Maa: Beta, bees saal pehle ke baat hai...
(Son, this happened 20 years ago...)
Ravi: Yeh, yeh mom get on with it. I've heard that before...
(Haan, haan maa aur kuch bolo. Yeh maine sab suna hua hai...)
Maa: (STARTS SOBBING HYSTERICALLY) Beta, beta yeh tu kya keh raha hai...
Audience Member 2: Arre yaar yeh to phir rone lagee!!!
(Geez man this woman started all over again)
Other Members: MAARO MAARO ISSE!!!
(Kill her, Kill her)

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